Amelia's 6th Birthday

Amelia turned 6 on September 5th. I always want my kids to feel special on their birthday just like my Mom made me feel. Amelia has been wanting a locket for about a year now and I found a great one on Etsy. The lady even printed and put the pictures in for me. (A word of caution: she's in England so you need to order about 3 weeks in advance.) Amelia got to open her locket at breakfast. In years past I have made a special badge for Lily to wear to school on her birthday and I am continuing that tradition with Amelia.

While she was at school I drove into Montpelier and got some balloons. I was totally thrilled to find a number 6 balloon. Amelia loved it!

However, the bliss quickly turned into a full on freak-out when I made Amelia come outside for some pictures and a gust of wind came up and blew her #6 away. She was so mad at me and I was so distraught that I had ruined what was seeming like the perfect day for her. She only stopped yelling at the top of her lungs when she saw me bawling my eyes out. We're quite a pair. Luckily Dan missed the drama, he was on a flight home from his drilling rig in Texas.

Grammie came up for Amelia's birthday. When Amelia got home from school and I wouldn't let her open her presents until Daddy got home around 7:30, she was not pleased. "I've been waiting all day to get home and open my presents!" So I told her when Grammie got here she could open her present from Grammie. The pink animal print purse and wallet did not disappoint!

My Mom always made special cakes for us kids. You can read about my Mom's cakes here. I didn't start decorating cakes until Lily was 7 and I was no longer working full time. I thought it was too much work, but after trying it and seeing the reaction from my kids, I was hooked! After I made Amelia's cake for her friend party (see below) Lily said, "I bet other kids wish their moms made would make cool cakes like yours." Made me proud!

For months before her birthday, Amelia pours over our cake decorating books to decide what kind of cake she wants. She changes her mind several times and frets over choosing just the right one. I wasn't up for something super complicated on her birthday this year so she settled on this heart cake.

There were several leftover pieces after I cut out the heart shape and Lily had fun making some of her own designs.

On her 5th birthday Amelia had a huge hissy fit because Mack blew her candles out before her. This year they each got a lecture before it was time to blow out the candles and we compromised by relighting the candles a second time to give Mack a chance to blow out the candles.

I thought it would be fun to have a treasure hunt for Amelia to find her presents. We started out with an envelope with the first clue. Gifts were hidden in different places throughout the house and each had a clue written on the outside. The grand finale was hidden inside our camper.

We considered getting a neutral colored bike so Mack could use it when he gets older, but we decided that Amelia would really, really love a pink bike. We were right.

Even though it was nearly dark, Daddy helped Amelia take a few spins around our street to try out her new bike. It's her first bike with hand breaks and gears.

In our family we only do friend parties every other year starting at age 6. Amelia was beyond excited to have her first friend party. I was willing to go all-out for her friend cake so we got on the internet and found a picture of a kitten she liked. She colored it just the way she wanted it (to look like her siamese cat Sophie) and I copied it onto the cake.

I gently cut the lines into the cake as a guide, then carefully outlined and filled in all the details.

It took me almost 4 hours to make that cake and I was up until 1:00am! But I was smart this time and did it the night before the party so I wouldn't be rushing to finish it moments before the guests started arriving (which is usually what happens).

On the morning of the party Amelia and Mack helped me cut out lots of sugar cookie shapes for the kids to decorate later.

Amelia stuffed the treat bags,

and asked me about every 15 minutes when her party was going to start.

We played two games where the girls could win a prize. Ring toss:

and musical present. It's like musical chairs, but with a gift wrapped in multiple layers of paper. You pass it around and each time the music stops that person gets to unwrap one layer until the final person gets the gift inside.

After games the girls decorated sugar cookies.

Amelia was really excited to show her friends the kitty cake.

I usually take lots of pictures of my cakes to get all the details and different angles, but this time I completely forgot until after the candles were blown out.

At the end of the party, I took the girls outside, each with a balloon. On the count of three they each made a wish and released their balloons.

Lily was a big help at the party and as soon as all the girls left I went straight up for a nap! Birthdays are hard work, but there is no better feeling than knowing that all your effort was worth it and that your child loved their birthday.

Ok, so I didn't exactly do the condensed version. But it was fun! And I did make a concession by only doing a quick edit of the photos in iPhoto. Yes, I finally got my Mac!

Ramblings

Thought I'd try to write today.

It has been a rough 6 months for me. My depression has been the worst it's ever been and I've had to start taking a mood stabilizer in addition to my anti-depressant. I've been diagnosed with a mood cycling disorder. Not bipolar because I never get manic, but my depression cycles lower and lower each time and never recovers. The meds have stabilized since August and I am no longer feeling suicidal and angry and despondent.

I am grateful not to be in the deep hole of despair that I lived in for several months, at least now I can get out of bed and do housework and help the kids with homework and actually play with Mack instead of letting him watch movies all day. I have even been able to work a little on my photos. But I often feel like I have turned into this subdued or even stoic person that does not feel very much. I notice things, like this morning when Mack woke up and I walked downstairs with him, his little hand was warm in mine, but I wasn't overcome with love and gratitude like I used to be.

I'm trying to do normal things, but I don't feel normal. We have been doing a lot as a family lately because Dan is waiting on a rig here in Cokeville to finish the permitting process so they can start drilling. I like doing all these things and I try to take lots of pictures, but I don't find the deep sense of contentment and gratitude that I think I should. I've always gotten a lot of satisfaction from taking, editing, and sharing my photos, but it just seems like too much effort to make my photos beautiful.

I am rambling, but I wanted to make some sort of effort to write and post photos. I was talking to Dan a couple days ago and saying that I just can't get motivated to record our family's story. I just keep thinking, "Does it really matter?" I mean, I don't know much about my great-grandmother. I don't have a journal from an ancestor telling how they dealt with their challenges. Dan's grandmother died almost 10 years ago and all her stories and history that wasn't recorded is gone. Does it make a difference in my daily life? In 100 years, will any of this matter? Yes, people like the founders of the Constitution or early protestants in the Christian church, those people's lives made a difference in society. But there's nothing really noteworthy about my life. Dan's response was, "you never know what our children will do. Maybe they'll do something great in their lives and people will want to know how they were raised." Dan also pointed out that in this day of digital technology, it is now actually feasible that we can pass our history (photos, journals, blogs, etc.) on to our children, grandchildren, and beyond because it can all be stored on one small external hard drive. My friend Karla, in response to my "what's the point" train of thought, said that if recording memories makes me happy, then it's worth it. And I guess in light of my struggle with depression, I need to just do anything that gives me purpose or pleasure or a sense of accomplishment.

One thing I have learned about myself in therapy is that I have an "all or nothing" personality. If I can't do it right or complete or all the way, I don't want to do it. But I am trying to learn that something is better than nothing. So as much as it bothers me to post pictures that haven't been beautified in Photoshop or not accompanying my photos with a complete narrative, I am going to try to post some pictures that make me happy or remind me of fun things we have done.

Our 4th of July

Posting is no fun when your computer is 9 years old and slow as Christmas. It's just not worth the frustration most days. But it looks like there will be a Macbook Pro in my near future, so things should be picking up soon!

Here's a peek at our 4th of July. Dan was working (he is a company man- boss of the rig- down in San Antonio, TX now, working 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off).

My Mom and sister Becky and her family came in for the holiday. It's so fun finally having a house big enough to host guests! First we headed to the park for the Fireman's pancake breakfast fundraiser. There was a patriotic program, then I forced the kids to take a photo with me before I let them run off and play.

It went quite a bit like this:

Then I told them that as soon as they smiled good they could take off and start getting all-you-can-eat free snowcones. Worked like a charm!

(Started this post like 2 months ago. It's never gonna get finished, so I'm just posting it as-is.)

Kids say the darndest things

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For about two years I have been keeping a little notebook where I write down all the funny things the kids say. For Father's Day this year I made Dan a photo book with several of those quotes. It was a labor of love and I'm really glad that I did it.

But I think next year I'll just show up in some new lingerie and Dan will be just as happy. Maybe even moreso.

Learnin' the ropes

We spent yesterday afternoon out in Brian's barn. I told Dan I was going to post a video of him roping and he said, "Why, I'm horrible!"

I'm posting it because I love the camaraderie between Dan and Brian as Brian gives him pointers.

And I love how Kamille swoops right in and shows us all how it's done!

Random fun (and a little work)

Just some fun videos from the last month.

One morning for chores I busted out the ABBA Gold and told the kids we were gonna work it. Mack immediately ignored me and started playing Santa Ghost with his blanket from our friends the Wynns. Don't you love how Amelia enters the room and just can't resist shakin' her booty a little?



The funniest part was after about 6 songs Lily comes in and pauses iTunes and says, "OK Mama, I CANNOT handle this music anymore!" I was like, "C'mon baby, it's disco! You can really shake your booty to this" afterwhich I did a dance that was entirely inapproprate for a chubby 36 year old to perform in her living room.

Mack has invented a new game for himself which involves wasting a lot of soap and making a big mess in the bathroom. But his hands are sure clean.



On another morning I chose Jack Johnson's Curious George to do chores to. Amelia did a little mop dance and Mack conquered the wood chips. Warning: the vacuum is running so you may want to turn down the volume.



That's a glance into our everyday life. And an idea of how little space we have in our current living room!

Don't be such a Kitty Pet!

Lily has a new passion:

The Warriors series by Erin Hunter. It's about clans of feral cats who fight against each other. What's not to love? Lily has finished the first 6 books and is now on the second series.

I'll let Lily tell you all about them. I only intended for this to be one or two minutes long, but Lily was on a roll.



My favorite part is when she stops abruptly and says,
"Creepy fact."
"It's against the Warrior code to be... active with, like, another member of another clan..."
"They kinda got married." Blush, blush

We're doing great as parents in the sex ed department. Dan's idea of "the talk" is to tell her that it works for humans the same as it does for horses. Trying to give her a less startling visual, I explain that sex is how a man and a woman's body come together to make a baby. Careful not to give more information than she's ready for, like all the parenting books say, I ask, "Do you have any questions?" Lily rolls her eyes and makes a disgusted face and says, "I'm ONLY in the 4th grade, Mama."

Discussion over.

I guess she's not ready for the birds and the bees quite yet. And that's just fine with me!

Movin' On Up

The big news is that we're moving! There's a buzz all around town (it doesn't take much to amuse us small town Wyoming folk!) and we're starting to pack boxes to move at the end of the month.

We've been looking for over a year for a bigger place to rent. In this town, and in this economy, there's not much to choose from and every time something became available, it just didn't meet our needs. Either it wasn't enough of an increase in size to make it worth the effort, or it was in an undesireable location, or it was bigger but not as nice on the inside as our current house.

The house we're moving into was built in 1895 and in the early 1900's it was called the Stoner Mansion. It's WAY too much house for us, but since we've been looking for so long, we didn't know when another house would come available and we have just reached our limit (in space and in patience) with our 800 sqft house.

So we're going from one of the smallest houses in town

to one of the biggest houses in town

It's a beautiful Victorian with 4 bedrooms, an office, a sunroom (SUPER excited about this one), a real dining room and plenty of room to have guests. There is lots of original woodwork, a dishwasher (BONUS!), even a second set of "servants" stairs leading from the basement to the kitchen.

To me, we might as well be moving to Downton Abbey.

:) :) :)

Horse Pleasure

Dan was home on a Saturday in January and he treated us all to some horseback riding in our friend Brian Nate's indoor arena. Brian and Becca had this arena built in the fall and it is amazing! The crew built the thing in 2 weeks, all with precut, prefabricated pieces. It took awhile longer to get all the inspections, approvals, and installation done on the lighting and water as well as get the tack room constructed, but it was fully up and running for a roping Brian hosted on New Year's Eve.

The arena was constructed on land just east of Brian and Becca's and our houses. There used to be a strawberry and raspberry patch out there and I planted my potatoes kind of behind where the trampoline is. All the kids were fascinated with the construction and would often hang out on Brian and Becca's tramp to watch the workers.

I took these pictures out my kitchen window.

People always ask if we miss the view of Rocky Peak. Sure, but it's totally worth the trade-off, having a place to ride in the winter! Brian has been so generous to let many people use the arena.

We keep our 3 horses with the Nate's horses about 8 miles outside town on the West Side Road. When we want to ride them we have to drive out and separate our horses from the herd, get a halter on them, and load them up in the trailer. Surprisingly, in the 3 1/2 years we have lived here I have never been with Dan when they've gone out to catch horses. I just always wait til they get back to the house to saddle up the horses. So I thought I better go and document this whole process.

Our 3 horses are Bart, Apache, and Zippy. Zip got hurt in the fall of 2010 while getting into a horse trailer. She cut her leg pretty bad and has never healed up properly. She hasn't been ridden in almost 2 years and she's gotten a little wild. Dan decided that since he wasn't going to be able to ride her, he would breed her to Cowboy, one of Brian's studs. She has gotten so unruly that they couldn't even catch her to preg check her in the fall. Brian says she's pregnant, though, so we should have a colt in the spring around April. Lily is super excited, even though we keep reminding her that she can't ride it for 3 or 4 years until it gets broke. (I always feel funny saying that, "broke", because it sounds grammatically incorrect. But that's the way the ranchers say it.)

Here is Zippy in all her maternal glory:

Dan bought a little bumper hitch horse trailer about 2 months ago. It's just right for our needs right now, it fits 3 horses and hitches up to our Suburban. It's also really handy to load up wood from the wood shed to bring and stack on the front porch. Dan was super excited to finally be hauling his own horses in his own trailer at his own convenience.

So off we went to the West Side to catch the horses. It's a bumpy ride once you get onto the ranch because the ground is covered with frozen cow pies and horse manure. And they are hard as rocks!

The kids sit in the truck and watch all the horses gather around while Daddy tries to catch them. Anytime a vehicle pulls up to the herd, they all think it's feeding time so they hover around the vehicle. The kids often stick their hands out the window to pet the horses.

So, when catching horses, the first thing you do (and by you, I mean Dan) is calmly approach the herd with a halter in your hand. Let the horse smell you or if it's familiar with you, pet its head. This is Genuine Illumination, one of Brian's horses that is ready to be broke. Dan wanted to bring her in to do some desensitization training.

If the horse spooks or trots off, as Genuine Illumination did, it's time to bust out the grain bucket.

The grain attracts the horses, and once you get the bulk of the herd interested in the grain, you can take the bucket and separate out the horse you're after. In this case, Apache, who gets a nibble straight out of the bucket.

Once the desired horse is distracted by food, they're not too hard to get a halter onto.

Genuine Illumination calmed down relatively quickly and Dan got a halter on her without a fight.

The next thing you have to do is get all those grain-grubbin' beasts out of your way so you can get back to the trailer. It's hilarious to watch ranchers and the noises they make to get the livestock to do what they want!

Notice Dan making a loud blowing, shooing noise, almost like giving a zerbert to the air.

Then it's time to collect the grain bucket and lead the horse to the trailer.

Genuine Illumination is 4 years old and has only been in a horse trailer maybe a half dozen times in her life. Dan was concerned that he might really have a fight on his hand trying to get her into the trailer, but he just climbed up there and urged her in.

Voila! Or Wah-lah! if you're not a Fancy Nancy type.

It's pretty amazing that 3 horses can fit in that trailer. Especially with Apache who is looking even more pregnant than Zippy, even though he's a gelding (castrated male)!

One sad thing that happened while we were out catching the horses is Dan finally broke the news to Amelia that her horse Mouse died last winter. You may remember Mouse, he was 20+ years old and as gentle as can be. He simply died of old age. Amelia would ask about him all the time and for awhile we just said he was out on the West Side (which wasn't totally a lie, he just wasn't alive on the West Side). Dan was waiting until Lily got a different horse so that Apache could become Amelia's horse and she wouldn't be horseless and distraught.

But she was still pretty sad.

We assured her that he was much happier up in the pastures of Heaven, running around with Jake and Hank and Lucky, all our dogs who have moved onto a happier life.

Amelia's melancholy didn't last too long. We made it back to the house and unloaded the horses into the arena. The first thing that needed to be done was to remove horseshoes. Horseshoes are essential to have on your horse when you're riding outdoors to protect their hooves from rocks and other debris, so they wear them all summer long while they're out to pasture (grazing on a hill somewhere rather than in an enclosure being fed hay). But when the snow flies and the horses are brought into the ranch, having shoes on can be a problem. The snow freezes and creates little ice balls inside their hooves, causing a lot of pain.

Dan had been meaning to take the shoes off the horses since about November, but he didn't have the right tool for awhile. He finally got the tool, some kind of plier looking things, and was able to clean the ice balls out of the horses hooves and pull their shoes off.

Because the arena has fresh dirt in it without a bunch of huge rocks, the horses were safe to ride without shoes.

Next up, curry the horses. Before putting on the saddle blanket and saddle you need to brush the horse to remove old dirt and caked on sweat. Mack really likes this part.

One of Brian and Dan's favorite things about the arena is the tack room where all the saddles are kept. Before the arena, the saddles were mostly kept in Brian's two horse trailers and a shed. Having them all in one place now makes it much more efficient when saddling up. There are tons of saddles there, belonging to several of Brian's family members and us. Ain't it a purty sight?

I didn't get any pictures of Dan saddling the horses because I was too busy taking pictures of Amelia and Mack climbing on the gates and rolling in the dirt.

Mack even managed to roll right through a pile of manure.

You can bet he and his coat both had a bath that night!

Amelia is finally brave enough to stand right in front of Apache and pet his nose.

It had been awhile since we'd ridden the horses so Dan jogged around the arena a few times with Apache to get him warmed up and make sure that he wasn't going to be rowdy.

Then commenced the horsey rides.

I think Mack likes to hold the lead rope even more than he likes being in the saddle. He's too small and slow to do it on his own so Lily helped him.

When a horse is wearing a halter and being led by a lead rope, there are no reins like when they're wearing a bridle. Mack insists on having some reins to hold, so Dan tied some of the leather straps on the saddle together.

He was perfectly satisfied!

Amelia took a turn leading.

When Mack finished riding he wanted to open the gate and was a little frustrated that he couldn't pull it out by himself.

It was meltdown city after that for Mack and Amelia. I was able to snap a couple pictures of Dan and Lily riding before I took the younger kids back to the house.

Lily has just about outgrown her saddle, so we'll be on the lookout for a bigger one maybe this summer. Sadly, Lily isn't nearly as enthusiastic about riding as she was a couple years ago. She gets easily frustrated when she can't make Bart do what she wants. And sometime in the last two years she has gotten a little timid around horses. Since the only thing I know how to do with a horse is get on and trot, Lily doesn't get the opportunity to ride unless her Dad is home and doesn't have a million other things he needs to get done. Combine the infrequent practice and Lily's personality (very short attention span, no competitive spirit, just a desire to have fun without hard work) and she isn't as horse crazy as she was when we first moved to Cokeville. She still never turns down an opportunity to ride, so maybe there is hope that we can rekindle her interest. She wants to compete in the kids rodeo this summer, but not riding barrels. She wants to do calf riding. Just hold on for dear life, that's all there is to it! We'll see what happens...

We love owning horses. Dan would like to spend a lot more time riding and training, but at this season in our lives time is limited. Someday Dan hopes to buy some land and build a house where we live right by our horses. I want to get enough of a clue that I can saddle a horse on my own and go for a leisurely ride in this beautiful Wyoming countryside.

New York, Paris, Milan, Cokeville

Eat your heart out, Gisele Bundchen!