I have been a total crank-pot (not to be confused with crack-pot) lately. I've been tired and irritable, short with the kids, not very attentive to Dan and mostly just in survival mode each day while I daydream about running away from home. I wasn't aware of just how crusty I'd become until Dan pointed out that I seemed to have a bad day everyday.
Dan and I are participating in the Marriage and Family Relations Sunday School class right now and last week there was a quote from Elder Bruce R. McConkie: “From the moment of birth into mortality to the time we are married in the temple, everything we have in the whole gospel system is to prepare and qualify us to enter that holy order of matrimony which makes us husband and wife in this life and in the world to come. … There is nothing in this world as important as the creation and perfection of family units.”
It really made me stop and think: this is it. This is the life I always wanted. There is no, "I'll be happy when XYZ happens". I have a good marriage, good kids, I get to be a stay-at-home mom, I live in a great community, so what do I have to be so bitter about? The answer is nothing. I have absolutely nothing to be chronically cranky about. It's just become a habit.
So I've decided to stop being a bitter beer face and embrace the goodness of my life. Try to keep a healthy perspective when Amelia whines incessantly, Lily rolls her eyes at me, or Dan gets irritated with me (Mack's still young enough that he can do no wrong).
When I figure out a good way to do that, I'll let you know. I'm going to start with positive thinking and affirmations. Any other suggestions?
Oh, and I reserve the right to regress and whine on my blog at any time.