What is it with Boys?

These are the words uttered from my lips this morning:

"Your penis is not a toy or a snuggle friend. You use it to pee."

We have entered the stage of saying 20 times a day, "Get your hands out of your pants." It's Mack's local hangout and it is totally gross. I'm like "Don't touch me, don't touch my stuff, and here's some Germ X."

I understand the need to itch or readjust occasionally. But why, oh why, do boys just like to hold onto their junk as if it's going to run away? I talked to my friend who has 3 teenage boys and she was like, "Yeah, you'll be telling him to get his hands out of his pants until he's 14. Then he'll just sneak through his pocket."

Awesome.

(Yes, there are no sheets on the bed. I hadn't replaced them yet after Mack pee'd on them for the 237th time.)

A few nights ago I was giving Mack a bath. After I got him out and dried him off, he stood in front of the full-length mirror, and struck a pose. Then he literally started strumming his penis like a guitar, singing, and doing the Elvis hip swagger.

I'll admit. It was kind of funny.