The Incredible Shrinking House

800 square feet is not a lot of space for a family of five. It's wasn't too bad this summer because we spent a lot of time outside and Dan took the wood stove and hearth out in May, which seemed to double our living space.

All that glorious space to run around in, dance in, and learn to crawl in.

Alas, no more. Winter is eminent here in Wyoming, dropping below freezing during the night, so Dan hauled in the wood stove last Saturday.

Our living room is considerably smaller now and it seems even more crowded by the fact that everyone wants to hang out in here where it's warm.

I should've taken a picture, but believe me when I tell you that if someone is laying with one of the recliners out on the couch, there's barely enough room to squeeze through between the fire gate and the recliner legs.

Despite the whole shrinking living room thing, the wood stove does have its perks. It's super cozy to sit around the fire and read stories and Lily loves to get dressed in front of the fire before school. But best of all, we kicked off the cold season by making s'mores right in our own living room.

Amelia was hilarious because she never really wanted to eat a s'more or even a marshmallow, she just wanted to critique the way we were roasting. "No, too dawk (dark), Daddy." "I want dohden (golden) bown (brown)." "Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah that's just right." (Thank you, Goldilocks!)

Dan and I agree that the $190.00 it cost to buy the fire gate last year was the best money we've ever spent. It gives us a lot of peace of mind and now it has the added perk of helping Mack practice standing up.

The one major drawback to the wood stove is the constant mess of wood chips on the floor. I sweep a couple times a day, but Mack still manages to find little goodies to nibble on.

What? A little roughage in your diet never hurt anyone!

The Queen has spoken

Meet the Queen Vee:

Victoria Carlson, October 1995

Victoria Carlson and I have been friends since I was a 13-year-old wayward teen (is there a worse age in your entire existence than 13?) Hers is one of the few friendships that have endured into my adulthood. Her wisdom and example have always been an inspiration to me and her wacky sense of humor has always been right up my alley. I lived with Victoria and her husband Ken when I met Dan, and she was my escort when I received my endowment in the Washington D.C. Temple.

Over the years, The Queen has given me lots of sage advice. I wanted to share something powerful she taught me when we spoke just a couple of weeks ago. You know how I've always struggled with keeping my house clean? It has started to be a point of contention between Dan and I and it has long been a source of shame for me. I have read several things about getting organized and I've tried to implement the principles taught by The FlyLady a few different times. But every time I start to get on a roll with housekeeping, I burn out and fall back into my old, overwhelmed ways.

I was talking to Victoria about it and she said, "What it boils down to is taking pride in your work. Early on I had to decide that keeping house was my job. Ken went out and made the money and I stayed home. That was my job and I decided that I was going to do it to the best of my ability. It's a lot of work, it's still a lot of work even now that my kids are grown, but I do it everyday and I take pride in making my home beautiful."

For some reason, that really struck me. I have been spending a lot of emotional energy feeling like it's too much for one person to handle, that there are too many distractions with little kids to be able to keep up with the messes. I've been self-indulgent in taking too much "me" time, convincing myself I "deserve" a break. Well, after talking to Victoria, I started working harder everyday to get the house in order and keep it that way. I told myself that there were no breaks allowed until at least the beds were made, the dishes were done, and the laundry was started. I've been sticking to that everyday and also working on something additional each day, like sweeping and mopping or straightening the girls' room or going through outgrown clothes to put in storage.

Something has finally clicked for me. It doesn't matter what "system" you use to keep your house neat. You just have to decide it's important and take pride in a job well done. I was telling Lori about my conversation with the Queen and she asked, "So, is your house going to be clean all the time now?" Probably not all the time, but I've been able to sustain a level of housework to where I'm at least not embarrassed if someone stops by.

I am happier, Dan is happier, and amazingly, Lily has started making a little more of an effort to keep things picked up. It's time I finally set the example.

It's been nearly 5 years since I've seen the Queen.

Victoria Carlson, me, Samantha Carlson Lee (aka The Dragonfly) Leesburg, VA Dec. 2004

Tomorrow I will get to see Victoria, Ken, and all of their children as they celebrate the life of Victoria's brother Kirk Nelson who recently died from Mantle Cell Lymphoma. I am so excited to see them all, especially to meet their oldest daughter Melissa. The Carlsons are family and I can't wait to grab them all up in a huge bear hug.

Thank you, Queen Vee, for once again steering me in the right direction. I'll see you and all your beautiful buggies tomorrow!

I miss you

"Where have you been?" you may ask. I have really fallen behind in my blogging since the middle of summer. I miss it. I love the opportunity to write and reflect, to review and edit my favorite pictures, and mostly, to read comments from everyone I love (including those I've never met.)

I have been spending most of my time trying to keep up with housework, helping with Lily's homework, cooking, trying to play with my kids each day, and trying to make sure Dan doesn't go looking for a part-timer. It leaves little time for other things, but I am hoping to get back on track soon.

I just wanted to say that I miss you and I should be turning a corner soon.

They all agree...

Carrots from your own garden are the best!

Can you believe the size of that sucker?

Most of the carrots are smaller, just right for little hands.

No teeth yet, but sure fun to gnaw on!

"I love me some dirty carrots!"

Attack!

I hesitate to post such an unflattering picture of myself, but it shows two of Mack's favorite things really well.

The first is not that unusual: He loves to pull my hair (I blame Biggie for this, since she's been putting her hair in his face ever since he could grab onto anything). The second, not so common: He loves to suck and gnaw on my chin. Not just anyone's chin. My chin. Weird.


I'll tell you one thing, that boy is strong!

Bobble Head

Here is Mack's latest trick:

Rodeo Queens

Lily and Amelia both did the barrel racing at the Cokeville Li'l Buckaroo Rodeo on Friday night. Lily did a great job on her horse Apache and Amelia charmed the crowd on her stick horse.

Dan was one proud country daddy!

Relaxing my Sphincter

My friend Samantha, aka The Dragonfly (or the blogger formerly known as Spymommy) had a little challenge on her blog this morning. I wasn't tagged, but I thought it would make a fun and easy, as well as informative, post.

In three words describe something you've done today, including a picture.

Dan shocked me two nights ago by saying that he'd been thinking about taking over the checkbook. I've done the bills and balanced the checkbook and tracked all the money for the entire 13 years of our marriage. I used to dream of Dan taking over the checkbook so he could really know how things were financially, and so he could share that burden of knowledge and responsibility. When Dan and I made the goal to get out of debt in the fall of 2007, we agreed that I would continue to track all the money and make the payments. We would look at our budget together a couple times a month and make decisions together when money was tight or decide where to put any extra money we got. It's been working pretty good until the last couple of months.

With summer activities, working in the garden, and... I don't really know what else, I haven't been as diligent in keeping things organized. Because Dan works as a consultant, he is paid as a contract employee, and therefore cannot get direct deposit. His paychecks arrive by mail and the time from invoicing until the arrival of the paycheck is very sporadic. Needless to say, it makes budgeting a challenge when you're not sure when the income is going to be arrive. We agreed when we started the Dave Ramsey Total Money Makeover that we would only make payments on bills when there was actual money in the account rather than trying to juggle when things were due with when we thought things would clear. We'd really been burned by overdraft fees.

The other day, I made a credit card payment on the day it was due (to avoid a late fee) without realizing that another important bill was due and had to be payed right away by check. Writing that check would result in the account being overdrawn. Dan said to me, "You gotta do better, you've been slipping."

The truth hurts!

A couple days later was when Dan said he wanted to take over the money. My first instinct was to say, "No, I'll do better." But then I started thinking, This is what you've always wanted. Be happy! So Dan is now officially in charge.

As I say goodbye to the checkbook, I've had to promise Dan not to backseat drive and try to tell him how to do things or be anal about how he categorizes all the expenditures. It's going to be weird to be on the outside, but I think it'll be nice to just get the allotted amounts of cash for groceries, clothing, kids' stuff, etc. and not have to worry about anything else. And hopefully it will result in us getting out of debt sooner.

So, in three words, today I am Relaxing my Sphincter. Thanks, Bin, I love you!

Can't a boy get any sleep around here?

Wuh?...Huh?...Me?

Yee-Haw, Biggie!

June 26, 2009