Saturday, September 11, 2010

This is my friend Zoe.



Zoe is married to Brian Nate's brother Kevin (Brian is Dan's best friend and our next door neighbor). Zoe is 31 years old and mother to 5-year-old Michael and 11-month-old Olivia. The Nates are our adopted family here in Cokeville, so Zoe is family. But she is also my friend.

Zoe died on Monday.

She had been sick with the flu and Kevin had taken the kids to his mom's so Zoe could rest. Kevin and Zoe spent a quiet afternoon at home, napping and watching TV. Shortly before 5:00pm, Kevin looked over at his sleeping Zoe and noticed that her lips looked blue. Just then his sister Katie arrived to bring the kids back and Kevin asked, "Do Zoe's lips look blue to you?" They called 911 and Kevin began CPR, but Zoe was gone.

Just gone.

After extensive autopsies, the cause of death is still unknown. No sign of heart trauma, no aneurysm, no lung failure, no toxins or weird drug interactions, nothing.

It is hard to fathom how someone can just be gone with no explanation. I won't try to imagine what each member of the Nate family is going through, I cannot know their grief, I can only know my own grief.

I don't think anyone really knew, not even Dan, that Zoe had really become a good friend of mine in the last few months. Zoe understood some things about me that not everyone can. I can't say too much right now because I'm just too emotional. But I had really begun to rely on Zoe, especially since Dan has been gone, as someone I could talk to and just comfortably be with anytime, without agenda or expectation.

I hope that she can see, that she can look down from heaven and know how much she was loved.

14 comments:

Anderson Zoo Keepers said...

I'm so sorry Sue.

Amy said...

Oh Sue I am so sorry! :( What a sad sad sad thing. I turned to Zach and said "What if you looked over at me and my lips were blue and I had died...and you thought I was just sleeping?!" And he frowned at me like, don't even say that, and Addi who was in his arms started to cry. We are very very sorry and will pray for you and this sweet family!

Lori Gerten said...

Very sad. Thinking of you.

Gwen said...

So sorry, you all will be in my prayers.

Lynne said...

I am sorry about the loss of your sweet friend, Sue. I pray that the Lord will bless you and those around you.

Becky in Wyo said...

Thinking of you. Love you, so much.

Dianna said...

So very, very sorry. How horrible for those babies. You and the Nates will be in my thoughts and prayers. Love you!!

tktakesphotos said...

Sue an unexpected death can really take it's toll on friends and family alike. It's hard when someone is taken away so quickly and with no apparent reason. I'm rowing in the same boat with you. I'm here for you if you need or want to talk.

The Dragonfly said...

Thinking of you and thinking of the Nate family. What a tragic loss.

The Queen Vee said...

What a beautiful woman, this is heartbreaking! Sometimes it is really hard to understand WHY things happen the way they do. I feel such sorrow for the Nate family for their loss and for you too Sue. This is what immediately came to my mind "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid." I pray that peace and comfort may descend upon all those who loved Zoe as they deal with this most difficult of life experiences.

Jill Heaps said...

I am so sorry, you and Zoe's family are in my prayers. May the Lord be your strength during this time.

Erin said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your sweet friend Sue. I'm quite sure knows how much she was loved by you and everyone around her.

I loved your post on the temple. Going has been hard for me these days too and I needed the reminder about how important it really is. I hope you can go there and feel some sort of peace about your friend.

Thinking of you...

Brian and Rebecca Nate said...

She really was a beautiful woman wasn't she? I look at her in all her pictures and she was radiant. I really do miss her. I didn't think I would as much as I do. Thanks for blogging about her, it's good to get someone else's point of view. BTW you did an awesome job on the pics of her for the funeral.

gina said...

I kind of stumbled across your blog - linking from "Depressed but not unhappy." I really enjoy your writing and felt very moved reading about the loss of your friend, as well as your feelings about the temple etc. . I want to visit here again - You seem like someone I would love to be friends with in the 'real world!'